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Fall is coming soon
We’re coming into a new season, Fall! My favorite time of year. I ❤️ this time of year when the colors change, the days get cooler but shorter and we can wear long-sleeves and pants with no coat.
I was recently reviewing my facebook profile, and saw my ‘Favorite Quote’ section. I don’t remember when I added this, but I’m quite impressed with what I wrote:
Time is precious.
Make the most out of every opportunity.
Enjoy the process, not just the end result.
Getting Older
I think I’m starting to feel this even more – especially because I can’t believe that I’m in my mid-40s!!! There are times when I still feel like I’m twenty- or thirty-something … and then I roll out of bed, need more stretches and grunt more. Life keeps moving on.
Years ago, I decided that I wouldn’t be ashamed of my age or get depressed around my birthday. I made it past the BIG 4-0 with flying colors. I think it helped that my sister planned a mother, daughter, sister, niece getaway to Florida that year. Thanks, sis!
Being more sensitive
But then 41 came along, and I think this was my most difficult birthday … maybe COVID-19 had something to do with it as well, but it was personally a very difficult time for me. I was fortunate that my boss and co-workers at the time were very gracious to me – and to others – during the changes that were taking place in our society.
It feels that we are more sensitive to each other’s feelings and mental health – or maybe I’m more sensitive to other people’s feelings and experiences because of this time that I went through. Although, I still have to remind myself to be more loving and more gracious at times.
Growing in Change
Thankfully, God continues to develop my character and push me deeper with the circumstances and changes in my life. Most recently it was with the death of our beloved dog, companion and friend, Zeke. He passed away on January 5th, and sometimes I feel like it was so long ago and sometimes I feel like it was just yesterday that we would cuddle on the couch together.
I’m definitely not an expert in the area of change, but when I don’t know something, I try to lean into it, embrace it and see what I need to learn in the process. I’ve come up with 5 points that help me through change:
- Recognize change can be hard
- But it can also be good
- Look for the beauty in it
- Even when we don’t want it
- Find something new
Change can be hard
When something in our lives changes, it’s ok to stop and recognize it. I’m learning to give myself more grace in those situations. And I’m also learning to trust God more. “Removing suffering entirely from our lives, though pleasing to the flesh, causes great damage to our spiritual lives. An environment devoid of suffering affords fewer opportunities for God to demonstrate his power and no opportunity for us to learn to trust in that power.” – excerpt from Power in Weakness by Marty Wooten.
It can be good
Not all change is bad, it can also be good for me. It’s difficult to see how pain, suffering and death is good. But similar to the quote above, it allows me to see my weaknesses more clearly and to trust that God is for me – in ALL things. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
Look for the beauty
Just like the leaves produce more beauty in the process of their dying in the fall, Zeke was more loving and cuddly in those last several weeks when he was in a lot of pain. I took so many pictures of him during the last 6 weeks of his life. While it was extra difficult to see him suffer, I’m grateful that we had it together and that I was able to recognize he was near the end.
I don’t want it to change
This summer has been amazing, and sometimes I wish the sailing or beach days would never end. But they will, the seasons will change. Time is precious, and it keeps moving.
When things are fleeting or temporary (and let’s be honest most things are), I try to cherish and appreciate them all the more. I’m grateful for another sunny, warm day. I’m grateful for the 12.5 years that I did get to spend with Zeke. I recognize and appreciate all of the people in my life and I try to spend more time with them.
Find something new
There is no way another dog will replace Zeke in our family and our hearts. And thankfully, Kyle and I are both on the same page that we’re not ready for another dog – just yet. However, a few weeks after Zeke passed, Kyle suggested that we take a trip together to Florida. Initially, I didn’t want to go because I felt guilty that we could just pick up and leave without worrying where Zeke would go.
In the end, I agreed and it was a wonderful time to spend with Kyle. We got out of the NWI freezing cold winter and enjoyed the change in weather. The Florida warmth and sunshine helped our aching hearts. We were able to relax (and mourn our loss) together. It ended up being a really good trip – even though I was hesitant to go at first.
Miss you, Zeke
We still miss Zeke a ton. He was our best dog EVER! But I don’t feel the constant heartache and pain that I did a few months ago. Journaling helped me remember the timeline so I stopped feeling guilty for ending his suffering. I consolidated all of his pictures and made a collage to hang in my office so I can look at them anytime I want, and to remember the good times that we had together.
The grief process is different for everyone and regardless of the changes in your life, “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” Semisonic, Closing Time
As I look back on my life, I recognize this more and more. Early in our marriage, Kyle & I had a 17′ Thistle sailboat that we raced on Geist Reservoir. Eventually, we sold the boat, and got a puppy! The puppy grew and grew into a great old dog … He passed, and we bought a new sailboat – the cycle continues!
More Books to Help
I recognize that my suggestions may not be what you need for the changes in your life. There are countless resources to help with change, grief, pain, suffering, etc. I’ve read several books that have helped me deal with pain and hardships. Here’s a few that I’ve read recently:
- Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament by Mark Vroegop
- Better Than My Dreams by Paula Reinhart
- Power in Weakness by Mary Wooten
- Saying Goodbye to Your Angel Animals: Finding Comfort after Losing Your Pet by Allen Anderson and Linda Anderson
What Do you think?
What helps you go through changes in your life – both good and bad? How do you actively remember to practice grace – towards yourself and others? Please share your feedback below. I’d love to learn and hear from you!
– Kara from Zeke Life
Live like Zeke
You’re such a good boy!
